hows' bout you all just fuck off?!

why isit that everyone seems its 100% fine to just dissapear out of my life?
im not someone that you can walk all over and come back to whenever you want.
please, feel free to fucking use me for my company
its all i am to most people
a convienence
i pretty much wana say fuck mcfly day next week, ill be happier going on my own right now

i "finally" got asked out on a kinda dinner date last night and i turned it down. . .dispite the past 3 months be complaining that im craving the male attention and that i really wana be asked out on a date. . .when it finally happens i freeze.
spose im not ready?
or maybe its cos of the guy who asked me?
i cleared things over, im not a piece of meat no more

i hate taking myself off my tablets. . .i hate being a manic depressive
i wish i was fucking normal sometimes, i wish i was able to feel happy all the time
i wish people would just quit fucking walking all over me