ouch

ive just had a massive reliasiation of how alone i actually am. really cant handle life at the moment and people seem to think that joking is the anwser. well for me, right now its not. i feel like ive been stabbed in the back. its so hard to talk to dad cos he cant do anything about it, its not nice for him to hear how depressed and low is daughter is feeling. my best friend is never avaliable when i need him. my sister seems to think all this blew over 5 years ago and when i explain to her it hasent she gets on my case way too much. my only sanity at the moment is uni and thats making life hard cos im bringing home life to uni and uni life to home. i really cant cope right now. things are so much easier said than done. really dont know what to do with alot of things right now. this is now 6 days in a row that ive pretty much cried myself to sleep, and its not just little tears, im hardcore sobbing and the pain isnt going away. what the fuck do i do?! WHAT DO I FUCKING DO?!