WHY?!

why am i so willing to help you out, to give you back what you want when it only hurts me more?
why am i so fucking nice?
ill fall into your trap every single mintue cos i care so much for you but whats going on it only dragging me down.
i want for you to be happy, but does that mean its gota make me so unhappy?
maybe its just jealousy.
i dont want for you to get hurt again.
there were chances, and we both blew them.
so i guess maybe its just never ment to be.

bascially she left you for a reason, a reason which she is regretting now, and this now proving that she can fuck you about and i end up picking the pieces.
she better fucking appreciate me, she hates me yet she dosent even know me and yet there i am saving her fucking relationship so my best friend can finally have a smile on his face.
if you hurt him 1 more time beleave me, ill hate you too andi dont have the balls to hate anyone.
thanks for ruining the first time spent with my best friend in a year.
thanks a fucking lot.
hes brought you a fucking birthday present already and its not till another 2 months, he pretty much kisses your ass yet you walk all over him.
do you even understand how fucking fragile he it?

im scaraficing my friendship for you both.
ive told him that we cant talk when your together so you wont get jealous.
thing is, i forgot that you spend pretty much 24/7 together.
tbh, whats there to be jeal of?
weve been really close friends for 4 years and nothing has happened, dosent that prove that we care for our friendship more than anything?!
yeah fair enough, hate me cos i told him where to shove it for 8 months, but that wasent me, that was my ex telling me to do so cos he felt exactly how your feeling right now.
if you make him do that to me so help me you will not see into tomorow.

leaving him and breaking his heart cos there was "another guy" and many other reasons.
now, apperently this guy is gay.
yeah fucking right.
it still dosent mean that you can stay over the gay guys house all the time.
if thats the case then let him stay at mine, were best friends, and thats all its ever gona be cos you have him wrapped around your little finger.
isit really that obvious?!
my american best friend who i barely speak to sussed me out within 5 bloody minutes.
its like i have it written all over me or something.
so tbh, i dont care if you find out i like him cos i can promise you now that nothing is ever gona happen cos i care for him too much as my best friend.
you can think what you like, but hes under your spell and nothing will ever change that.

FUCK!!